EDITORIAL: Suspend your disbelief and ignore the obvious

I consider myself one of the lucky ones , lucky enough to have been brought up during and fallen in love with the WWE's attitude era. It was during my time in primary school, everyone was talking about the World Wrestling Federation, I couldn't have been older than nine years old and I had no idea what they were all going on about. Monday nights on sky sports, luckily my grandparents had just had Sky TV installed at their house and I could get them to record Monday night Raw is War! By the time I started watching Raw is War it was full of so many amazing characters Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, Mankind, Triple H, The Undertaker, Kane, The Hardy Boys, Dean Malenko, Chris Benoit, Owen Hart, Bret Hart, Rakishi, Vince, Shane and Stephanie McMahon, Chris Jericho, Kurt Angle, Edge, X-Pac to name just the ones off the top of my head. I wasn't born in time to witness the 'greatness' of Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff et al, they're not my generation of wrestler and I never had the time or the patience for WCW.

I'm a child of the Hollywood epic Blockbuster, of amazing (and at times, shocking) storytelling, fantastical effects and ridiculous budgets. At nine years old there was nothing that would suspend my disbelief more than the WWF (even though it wasn't PG I still got away with watching it) it was fantastic, it was amazing, it had storytelling, it had characters, it had women, it had violence, it was competitive and exhilarating whilst at the same time entertaining. It's looking back at those days of the late 90's/early 00's which makes me love the WWE today, It's a rather love/hate relationship however. I believe that along with it's name the World Wrestling Federation lost a lot of it's charm, it's pizazz if you will. The legends of the Attitude era have moved on past pro-wrestling to new endeavors such as starring in films (most notably, The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin and most recently Triple H) and the creative team at the WWE seem to be unable to replicate the great mastery of storytelling that was prevalent during the Attitude era, if you go back and watch shows from that time such as Armageddon from 2000 (This was quite possibly my all time favourite PPV as a child) the crowd was hysterical throughout the entire show (even for the mid-carders... something nobody really gives a shit about today... watch a show from now and half to three quaters of the event will be deadly silent, no heat, no pops, just dull acceptance), everything flowed together beautifully and the pace was so much quicker.

Much of the time these days I find myself zoning out, losing interest and just having no connection to any of the characters... I don't care about Kofi Kingston, the one from Ghana who is actually just an American... but has a Jamaican gimic? I guess if I was a 12 year old girl I may have an undying love for the loveable 2D face, but that's all he is 2D... there is no character there. The characters of the attitude era had exactly that, attitude and that's what I loved about them... maybe it's a British thing of liking the underdog or our perpetually negative outlook on the world that left me rooting for people who were never really faces... come to think of it a face in the attitude era had a completely different meaning to what it has today... people like The Rock, Stone Cold and Kane weren't good people... Stone Cold was a lager lout who mouthed off at everyone... The Rock... well there's not much to say apart from he was a bit full of himself... and Kane... the burnt and scarred ruined shell of a man known as the devil's favourite demon... consistently accompanied by that stumpy little urn fellow... Paul Bearer. WHAT? (no pun intended). These people weren't good, but they were cool!

Nothing in the days of Attitude was predictable and this is the ultimate point that this editorial is aiming to reach. I want to suggest ways, in a series of posts, in which a bit of the old vigor and fighting spirit can be re-injected into the WWE, WWE creatives... pens to the ready... take note and have my contract in your out-trays! In this series of blogs entitled Ignore the Obvious I will examine current storylines, developing narratives and up coming fights to create my own distinct take and suggestions which will 'ignore the obvious'. Suggesting storylines I believe will be the most productive, but most importantly entertaining!

Shall we begin?

The first topic really to begin a discussion on a change of direction within WWE must be it's PG guidance rating for viewers. Now i'm not suggesting that the WWE should strip itself of the rating immediately and without question and that it is the most fundamental reason for the company's sinking entertainment ship. I believe that the PG rating has both it's pro's and con's and probably at it's inception made good business sense. On the face of it the WWE is doing quite a noble thing in restricting itself to Parental Guidance... it allows everybody of all ages to watch it's shows without causing offense to anybody. It gets more people watching the sport... or does it?

The con's of course are far more numerous and perhaps more important to the audience. Firstly wrestling in PG is unrealistic... you're telling me that if you were getting a beat down from some hench motherfucker you would be able to resist the urge to spout profanities every which way possible... when you're in a rage stopping yourself swearing isn't something you think about... so when we have John Cena coming out to face off with the Nexus in the opening segment of every single episode of Monday night Raw, you expect both him and the Nexus to be a little bit frustrated by this. They are polar oppositions they should be spouting hatred, bile, profanity and rage at one another like there's no tomorrow... i'm not suggesting that foul language in anyway makes something cooler, more attractive, but simply more believable, the ability to swear would allow for the freedom of improvised promo's which just flow naturally when you're in the heat of the moment on stage. When I was 9 years old I knew every swearword going and I knew that the people on the TV were talking from the heart... it was an improvised promo that made Stone Cold Steve Austin into the legend he became, not some shoddily scripted half arsed effort from creatives.

It's not only the language that isn't realistic, if anybody ever watches boxing or any MMA promotions... what is it that happens to people? They get bloodied up! Fighting and violence hurt! And when i'm watching my thrice weekly dose of WWE I can't believe that any of these people are in any kind of pain, they can sell the moves all they want... I still won't believe it. What it was that made wrestling different from boxing and MMA were the gimmick matches, your "no holds barred" matches, "Hell in a Cell", "Street Fights" the ingenious ways weapons were used and the physical endurance on display from the athletes. I don't believe that any moment in time will ever surpass seeing Mick Foley fall from the top of the Hell in a Cell onto the announce desk and also seeing Mick Foley fall through the top of the Hell in a Cell through the ring, but saying that Mick Foley is one crazy ass motherfucker.

Really my general point is this... I think that the WWE is too surreal it almost has no basis in reality anymore, it needs to take a few steps back and employ a bit of realism. Making their programs more realistic makes the people from my demographic believe in the product... anyone my age is intelligent enough to know what they are seeing is nothing compared to what guys did ten years ago. So wake up and smell the sweet smell of blood because realism in wrestling is the king.

Shughes




Notes on the article: Since beginning writing this article it is worth noting that several things have happened. The Rock is back (winner) and is swearing.... Stone Cold is back (winner) and is still drinking... John Cena is still there and is again rapping?.... Trish Stratus is back.... Booker T is back... Kevin Nash (Diesel) is back.... Kane, Undertaker, Triple H, Edge, Christian, are still kicking around. The locker-room must have quite a funky vibe about it at the moment! Is Attitude back? I doubt it... but I do like what is going on!

Quick post rumble posting

Just thought that before we hear the results of this friday's Smackdown I should make a few theories and ideas before they are all thrown in the water.

Del Rio winning the Rumble... Edge retaining the Heavyweight Championship.

I am happy that Del Rio won the Rumble he has received such a push in recent months and he suits the title chase. We've seen on Monday's Raw that he has chosen to face the world heavyweight champion at Wrestlemania in his title match... and everybody is assuming it's going to be Edge... WELL ladies and Gentlemen... I think you're wrong. After Edge won his bought against Dolph Ziggler at the Rumble using a spear... Vickie Guerrero has created a rematch on this Friday's edition of Smackdown... It's Edge and Kelly Kelly vs Dolph Ziggler and Laycool... and I think Vickie is going to make Dolph win at any cost! (on a side note... the referee should not have allowed Edge to win over the Miz on Raw as he used a supposedly illegal move in the WWE... The Spear) This leaves Ziggy with the title... UNTIL Elimination Chamber. On Raw we saw teaser virals hinting at a return on the 21st of February 2011... the day after Elimination Chamber... it has been reported that the arena where the Raw show will be held the day after Elimination Chamber is promoting the return of the Undertaker. SO Undertaker returns at Elimination Chamber to then make his 'official' return at the following day's Raw... Taker wins the Heavyweight title at Elimination Chamber at what I'm guessing will be an Elimination Chamber match... goes on to Wrestlemania to fight Del Rio and Del Rio loses!

BOOM

And if i'm right you all owe me a fiver!

If i'm wrong... (which I may be) Tough shit.

I just thought i'd get this in before the smackdown results are posted later... I'll talk more about the Rumble and subsequent fallout soon.

Shughes

WRESTLEMANIA SEASON B*TCHES! (Rumble Spoilers - be careful!)

The Royal Rumble last night proved two things. One: It's not above having TNA style screwy finishes to EVERY championship match, and two: they are not scared of taking chances.

First off, Championship matches. Nexus involvement, last minute title match changes, and an important World Championship match save from Kelly Kelly??? Not sure what WWE are trying to achieve here to the hardcore viewer, although it seems they want to rekindle the 'anything can happen' mentality. But not sure having 100% of the matches at the official start of Wrestlemania season (only 62 days to go!) ending in cheating/confusion is the best way to go about it.

Last night I witnessed what my friend described as 'the best Royal Rumble moment ever'. John Morrison was seemingly eliminated and clung onto dear life on the fan's barrier without touching the floor. He then regrouped and leaped back into the ring.

They brought back Booker T, albeit without his King Booker gimmick. In a Boston crowd which I would have imaged had moved from the Booker T era. He was well recieved and should be in line for a WWE return should all the stars be alighted.

Kevin Nash (not Deizel) made a shock return last night after a tenure with TNA wrestling. Nash made no secret of loving his WWE past during his time at Jeff Jerret's company, and it seems with HBK going into the hall of fame this year, Nash wants to be around to see it happen in person. I can see him inducting Shawn but I'm pushing the boat out for Bret Hart at this moment. Although the stare down with big show looked very, very staged. Wrestlemania match anyone?

Speaking of Wrestlemania matches; these are my predictions...

Rey VS Cody Roages (hopefully Cody displaying some of this new found attitude from Smackdown past)

Money in the bank (Evan Bourne as cert, some of Nexus/Corre, Daniel Bryan, Dolf Ziggler, Morrision)

Undertaker VS Wade Barrett (If taker is healthy)

Orton VS CM PUNK.

Miz VS Cena

annnnnnnnnd

Alberto Del Rio VS Edge for the Championship

Alberto winning the Rumble is a sign of great faith in the newbie who has not even won ANY form of championship since his interception in the higher mid card on Smackdown. He has had all of 2 or 3 pay per view matches and doesnt feel like a main eventier to me. This could change. From gazing upon the list of past winners, they have never elevated a new midcarder to the top via the Royal Rumble, it's always been an established superstar.

If WWE REALLY wanted to take a risk, they would have Awesome Kong Debut at number 40.

But the special mention of the night has to go to Santino Marrella...

Unbelievable scenes; just as Alberto celebrates his win, Santino emerges, still a legal contender, and prepares to strike for a Cobra. Hits it and begins to party like its 1999. Seemingly about to win. From reading this you may think "you never expected him to win did you?", but the thing is, I never expected Alberto to win. So given his new found popularity, Santino winning would have been the most amazing surprise. Of course, he didn't. But for those few minutes WWE managed to do something they have only managed to make me do once of twice in the last year. Thats leap up from my seat starry eyed in anticipation, like it's actually, a real sport.

It only happens once a year, but that's what Wrestlemania season does to you on a frequent basis. I am hereby stating that I will not miss a single moment of WWE leading up till April 3rd. Well, maybe Superstars.

Last year HBK cost Undertaker the championship, Bret Hart returned and hugged Shawn Michaels, Batista screwed Cena, Morrision grew as a performer inside a chamber, and a fresh faced Wade Barrett emerged from nowhere.

If they can give Alberto a WM main event rub, I'm watching with intent was to what else they are willing to do.

SPOILER: WWE Championship Match Advertised for March 11th RAW Live Event

Posted by: WrestlingNewsSource.com


A WWE Championship match has been advertised to take place at the March 11, 2011 WWE RAW live event at the JQH Arena at Missouri State University...but The Miz is not listed as the champion. The match will feature the leader of the New Nexus, CM Punk, going one-on-one with John Cena. The advertisement does not, however, specify which Superstar will be the champion heading into the event. This is obviously an indication that Miz will eventually lose the WWE Championship to one of these two men.

While Miz may not be defending the title, he is listed to be competing at the event as well. He is scheduled to face Randy Orton in a "Non-Title Match".

Shughes' Views: The event page actually reads:

See all of your favorite WWE superstars* including:

WWE Championship Match

"The Viper" Randy Orton vs. The Miz

John Cena vs. CM Punk

Plus:

Sheamus
John Morrison
R-Truth
Mark Henry
Maryse
The Nexus

This to me suggests that the Miz hasn't lost the title, or is at least competing for it either against Randy Orton or in a Fatal Fourway against Cena, Punk and Orton. I might be wrong but thats how it reads to me... maybe Wrestlingnewssource are getting their information elsewhere?

Jim Ross posting on twitter regarding Royal Rumble

Jim Ross has commented on twitter regarding the WWE's decision to make the Royal Rumble match a 40 man (or woman) competition. He has stated on his twitter page:

"If having 40 men in the Royal Rumble match helps sell ppvs, then its a really good idea. 40 sounds good to me. Makes the main event bigger. Watch what I say, the 40 man royal rumble match will be over analyzed by many. Gives 10 more paydays & adds 'biggest ever' mkt'ing hook. Bitching, moaning & complaining re: 40 man RRumble match underway. When has there EVER been more than appx 10 potential, viable winners? I would be interested in seeing tv competiton to see who earns #1 & #40 entries into the RR match. Do odds favor a Raw RR winner?"

Shughes' Views: I'm kind of torn on this decision, I can understand why Jim Ross is sticking up for the company's decision to make it a 40 man Rumble, in as much as he is an employee and representative of the WWE... but apart from giving ten more guys a pay day does adding them into the mix really give us a better event if there are never more than 10 viable winners anyway? Hopefully as we get closer to the Rumble event and learn more about the entrants we can begin to see how this decision will evolve leading the way to the grandest stage of them all.

The Royal Rumble

So I've just heard via prowrestling.net that this years Royal Rumble will feature 40 WWE Superstars instead of the usual 30. The news was broken via Joey Styles' Twitter page stating that this would be "The biggest Royal Rumble match in history".

I'm kinda with Jason Powell on this one I'm not sure bigger is going to be any better... for starters I didn't know the WWE even had 40 superstars on it's roster... secondly how long is this match going to go on for if they keep the timings the same? and if they shorten the entry timings were just going to have a ring full of bottom card talent and big show and kane just coming in and chucking them all out in one go... humph...

I guess this could mean a few more surprise entries? Triple H and Evan Bourne are both listed for events in March at MSG and after that as well... so we could see the imminent return of both of these superstars.... The Undertaker made an appearance at a Smackdown show a fortnight ago... maybe he's well enough to head back to the WWE, there have been rumblings of Batista... would that happen? or my personal hope Y2J Chris Jericho makes a well earned come back!

We shall see I suppose....
T'ra for now!
Shughes

Terri Wogan's Points Of View!

So firstly, I am a female! Yes, as shocking as this may seem WWE fans of the world, but there are some female followers out there too! Admittedly, my knowledge of wrestling is limited, having only just started watching in the past year due to Colbert’s worryingly creepy obsession with the half naked men, my motivation for watching is purely for the hilarity of the overdramatic man drama that evolves weekly from RAW and Smackdown superstars of the WWE! That and my worryingly creepy obsession with the half naked men!

For my first British Squared Circle blog I thought I’d give my views on some of the stars and, well whether I think they are any good, ironic seen as I’ve just stated I know shit all about it! First up, my pet peves are Kofi Kingston, Big Show and yes, im going there, Randy Orton!

Every week out bounces Kofi, doing his ‘Boom! Boom!’ hand signal with the crowd happily saluting back. Am I missing something? It seems that Kofi Kingston’s main likability is his hair, which inevitably will fall out of his pointless pony as soon as there’s a slight breeze headed in his direction. There is absolutely nothing that makes me like this face. Yes he can jump high! And yes, apparently he can deliver trouble in paradise! But really, he’s just very boring, predictable and his character lacks any sort of watchability. I often find myself zoned out, watching paint dry till I can zone back in and watch the rest of the show without half of my brain cells melting in a bored stupor!

As for Big Show, well yeh, he’s big! That’s about all there is to say about him. I find it pointlessly stupid that he plays the face card even though, lets face it, he relentlessly bullies the lesser characters of Smackdown every week. Who finishes with a punch anyway?! He’s not even the fattest; I mean ‘biggest’ on the show! I wish he’d take his over proportioned, stupid bearded face and shove it up his own arse, which I might add, leaves me with a mouth full of sick every time Cody Rhodes’ head disappears up there! (I mean seriously this is how desperate the man is, he’s started using his arse as a weapon. That’s something that 6-year-old boys do!) He’s outdated, and there are better characters that could be developed lower down the field than giving air time to this useless lump!

Leading me nicely on to Mr Snakeman himself Randy Orton! Ok firstly, admitting to my lack of knowledge, did the ‘I hear voices in my head, they talk to me…’ blahblah intro rubbish, come before the whole ‘I’m a snake! No seriously…’, or was that song tied into the slithery image after?! Just wondering if there was any sort of excuse for Randy Orton sexually abusing the floor of the ring every week when he, oh so realistically, mimics a snake by firstly pounding it with both his hands, then grinding his crotch against the mat. It’s so realistic that I often find myself transported to a wildlife programme, then fairly swiftly back just before he punts someone….just incase this was missed, this is heavily laden with sarcasm! Ok, admittedly he’s more interesting to watch the Kofi ‘Boom! Boom!’ and Big ‘Arse face’ Show! Clearly the man can wrestle, I say clearly I don’t have a fucking clue, but he acts like he can. I say ‘acts’ he cant act his way out of a paper bag with that snake impression. Lets compromise, he gives the impression he can wrestle! The thing with Orton is, he’s got this supposed bad boy image with absolutely nothing to back it up with. (Other then these apparently imaginary voices in his head and a pathetic ‘snake’ transformation before his finisher!) We all know how this turned out for the snake in Harry Potter….not good! If Orton really feels the need to ‘become’ an animal, maybe he could try a sloth, seen as he speaks at the speed of one. Or maybe an ant! Its well known those little buggers can carry sizes ridiculously over proportioned to their own! No, in all seriousness it appears Orton has to be a snake. Somehow the man has conditioned his eyes to appear as slits, due to perpetual squinting I presume, and the half ton of baby oil that’s delivered to him every show has another 6months to go before his yearly contract renewal.

On a side note, Diva Beth Pheonix, I have it confirmed, is in fact a man!

Thinking about it, there are a few stars I dislike. The easiest, and quickest way for me is to sum them up in a list, requiring as few words as possible:

R Truth – TWAT. Someone tell him we can’t actually understand his stupid rap! Oh, and take out Eve while you’re there, she’s just as annoying with her stupid dance moves. It only encourages him Eve….

Santino – haha this man is sooooo funny! His cobra is hilarious…. Oh no, wait, ITS NOT!

John Morrison ‘JOMO’ – Really?

Natalya – I’ve never actually seen her face, her chin blocks out the rest!

Rey Mysterio – Ridiculous! 619 is a stupid finisher! He’s the only one who manages to get his opponents to dangle from the middle rope in every match. Also his clothes are stupid, he seems to have wardrobe malfunctions every match. (Watch out for it you’ll see what I mean) Basically, how can a man that small defeat any of the other wrestlers who are twice his size! Actually his one realistic opponent would be….

Horn Swoggle – a similarly ridiculous waste of space!

The Divas! – Lets face it, although a few maybe good, WWE do nothing for the audience to take these matches seriously. I feel sorry for them really. Actually, no I don’t. They get paid to be ridiculed! Ridicule away people! Ridicule away!

Moving on to my love for Wade Barrett! I think I am biased, being from Preston as well, and loving his ‘simmer down’ comments that clearly just confuse an American audience already struggling to decipher his broad English accent. This mans a genius on the mic, and a clear match to Cena’s quick wit, playing the baddy perfectly. This is proved every week with most heat been thrown Barretts way, and lets face it, no one gave a shit about the others in the Nexus 1.0! My only quibble with my Barrett is that I wish he won a few more matches, and that’s more an argument for the WWE powers that be. The man needs to win matches to continue being an effective heel leader. It becomes predictable allowing the faces to beat him every week, be it through disqualification through the help of his best buds Gablater (like what I’ve done there? Gabriel and Slater = Gablater), or through the fact that apparently Cena is a demi-god, unbeatable to any other human being! Barrett is clearly one of the best on the mic, and moved to smackdown out of WWE’s desperation to revive a dying show that repeats the same match weekly. Edge/Kane/Alberto/Mysterio. Clearly someone, somewhere thinks he’s quite good, so could they do me a favour and give him a title to consolidate the image they’ve already built. Thanks! Oh also, please change the 80’s shit intro music. It’s embarrassing! It’s like my Dad’s music collection accidently got mistaken for Wade’s intro! Never good!

I can’t hate Jack Swagger. He has a lisp. It’s discriminatory! If WWE can accept a man who ‘hear’s voices’ and pretends to be a snake, then I can like a man who has a speech impediment! That’s all really. I unashamedly like Swagger, and I’d wish they’d bring back the Swagger soaring Eagle, if not purely to hear Swagger trying to pronounce his own name!

Ok, the only Divas I actually think are worth the air time, Laycool! Brilliantly bitchy, witty and interesting to watch, the other divas could learn something from the characters they’ve built for themselves! Also, both look like females, which is always a positive!

Finally, Vicky Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler! Fantastic match up here. Ziggler has the funniest adlibbed one liners on the mic, and we all know we love Guerrero! In fact, im going to start a campaign. (Or someone that can be bothered should) Guerrero for Smackdown GM! She’s far better then Teddy Long, who reminds me of an escapee from a retirement home, and storylines would be interesting, which is perhaps what Smackdown should be concentrating on at the moment! I think Katylin should be brought back, I say brought back, she is on Smackdown apparently! Somewhere backstage, lost, trying to find her way to the ring… The dynamic between the 3 worked and I can’t understand why WWE aren’t pushing this, as it’s clearly why Katlyin won NXT in the first place! Anyway, I hope Ziggler takes the belt of that guy, you know, the one who pretends he’s on drugs and never showers! It’s a PG show after all, what is Edge teaching kids that’s worthwhile!??!

In conclusion, I know shit-all and these are the inane views of someone who cares little about wrestling, and too much about weekly dramas!